Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
