wat bout pragnant strippers??
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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