He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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