I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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