Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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