so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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