Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
