i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
