zippers are such a cool invention
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He felt like a one man threesome
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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