Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
third nipple confirmed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
