he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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