jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
