So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
