? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My vagina is officially offended.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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