I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
