Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
