I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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