He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize