mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
