how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
