I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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