It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
