I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
