she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
