he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
