This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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