There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
