sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
