My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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