he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
