It's Friday. Sex?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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