I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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