it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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