I want to stick my p in your. b.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
