having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize