i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
