Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
