There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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