That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
