We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
