i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
