Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
