My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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