I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
