If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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