dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
