is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
