Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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