$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
