Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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