I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
