I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
