somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize