ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
