I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
