I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am available for nakedness
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
