Someone shit on the floor
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
