I CAN MOONWALK!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
